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| Mom and son celebrating the new year in the Bahamas in 2025! |
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." – Confucius
2025 was intense. I faced a convergence of pressures: the stress of navigating life as a single mom while paying considerable alimony, an intensifying family situation since we lost my beloved aunt, my dad, and my cousin’s mom—work related stress—learning a new job after an imposed job change, all while navigating the rapid pace of raising my kids and trying to maintain a standard of living for them with fewer resources. Together, these factors forced me to make a decision. Was I going to be overwhelmed by the stressors or was I going to thrive, in spite of them.
I chose to thrive. However, I had to figure out how to do that. Figuring it out meant evaluating what skills and tools I need to do that. I landed on resilience and commitment because I learned that going through the motions of life with grace and strength is the ticket to enduring hardship.
Living a life of resilience and commitment is challenging but it is worth it
Indeed, last year tested me in ways I never imagined. Losing my beloved aunt in January and my dad in November--both unexpectedly-- taught me the true meaning of resilience and commitment. There were days, upon days that I didn't want to leave my couch. Sleep eluded me because I was afraid of it. And, engaging with people was sometimes too much effort.
These losses were on the heels of losing my bio dad in December of 2023 and having my relationship blow up in April of 2024. Just as I was starting to catch my breath, I experienced one life altering event after another. These experiences have taught me that one loss does not insulate me from another because I am still navigating this human experience.
And yet, I persisted.
I had to find strength and figure out how to cope and go on, in spite of it all. I spent time a lot of time alone or with my kids. I went on long walks. I cleaned my house. I learned how to use a drill and built things. I built so many things that my daughter started calling me, "Bob the Builder". I did those things because I feared that if I stopped, if I collapsed in a pile of tears, if I failed to maintain the schedule, I might lose my way and never be able to recover.
And, I did not have the luxury of that type of breakdown.
I have a demanding job, I am the primary parent to my children, and I have a court order sought by my ex requiring me to pay him ever single month. So, stopping everything was not an option I could exercise without consequence. My responsibilities required me to go on. So, my efforts to understand and remain healthy never ceased.
That said, I knew that if I merely kept going without acknowledging the intense pain of it all, I would confront it later by surprise. So trust me, I have cried, punched pillows, and complained to friends. And yet, I kept going. have learned that movement may be the formula to overcoming hardship.
Through grief, tears and fatigue, I just moved forward by putting one foot in front of the other, taking it day-by-day. Some days I ate too much and slept too much. Other days, I ate too little and stared at the ceiling. Both types of days were a part of the process. I leaned on the unwavering comfort of my family, friends and the strength of my faith.
I learned that resilience and commitment are not only coping tools, they are thriving tools. Because as you persevere, you heal.
Please be patient with me. Healing is a process and I remain on that journey. Still, as we continue our journey into 2026, I carry forward these lessons with gratitude and determination. And, I declare that I will a year of purpose, progress, and hope--in the midst of it all.
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